Reaching the point of not caring; a relief. Not that I have lost empathy or conscientiousness for others – the difference is that I just don’t give a shit about your opinion anymore. Trust me, it’s very relieving – a new stress-reducing therapy perhaps. Apologies if you thought I took your Strava comments seriously regarding my last bonk. And believe me, that 3hour/10mile training “run” on the Blue Hills Skyline trail included some great conversation I wouldn’t have traded for an FKT any day. So, back to your opinion – don’t waste your time – I’ll ask if I want it.
This synopsis makes me look like a prick, but at times I am, so writing this rant during another low blood glucose stint while sitting in on an enthralling seminar on hematopoietic stem cell development in a zebra fish model is just going to be a factor you’ll have to consider if you care to read my thoughts.
The truth is, I’m back here because I want to be. Because I find it more pathetic to fearfully avoid writing publically than to write poorly for the masses to cackle over. Another reason I’m back here is because I’m newly employed, and the new position has a large writing focus…actually, it’s the only focus – I’m now a copywriter. Yikes. Best be getting my shit together, eh?
When was the last post, June 2013? Long ago regardless of the exacts. I don’t tolerate cyclical relationships, and feel guilty having neglected Blogspot for so long. Prior to this I would speak with Blogspot, flirt, act like I wasn’t just in town for the weekend, play for hours multiple days in a row, then BOOM, Monday morning came around, I’d leave town and not show up again for six months…only to return looking for another 48hours of action. It’s immature. It’s disrespectful. And I want to change. So change I will.
The past two years have been one hell of a ride. Though riddled with increasing debt - they have been more memorable than I could have imagined. There have been ebs and flows, mountains and valleys, physical, psychological, and emotional battles, and accomplishments I didn’t think were possible. Struggles with aspirations for relationships, personal goals, and deciding upon a career path have torqued my mind to painful degrees. But not without gain. A former roommate and one of my first friends in Boston, Matt Haringa, always speaks of the ‘two-thirds rule’; stating that you need two of three important aspects of life in order to be content. For us, those three are 1) a job, 2) a relationship, and 3) running. Having all three appears fortuitous, and is for a while, but is honestly the worst…seriously – it’s unsustainable – one has to go. Having only one or zero is too damn depressing. Defaulting to scanning LetsRun commentary each night between the paid online porn sessions with Jasmine will never make up for your prestigious position as the newest post-doc at the Wyss Institute. You’re pathetic. Get a girlfriend or get back in shape.
For me, I’m currently one of the lucky ones. I have all three. I had zero 12 months ago. What does this mean?...well obviously, I need to cut down. Running will go, because it’s the most dispensable and least rewarding. Sorry Running; don’t leave your rebuttal in the comments section, I won’t read it, I don’t care.
Tune in if you’d like. Don’t if you’d rather not. Post a comment, chat back, shoot me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org), socialize, seriously. I like people. And, regardless of me making this font as small as possible, I like people…so don’t take my not giving a shit about your opinion too literally.
Much love, friends. I’ll be back soon(ish).