Friday, April 3, 2015

The many faces of marriage
There’s a duty I must accept and undertake.  A commitment - a marriage - which will not come without struggle or sacrifice, that may not be equally contributed to by all parties involved; that will likely cause me distress, anxiety, loss of a sense of self, fear…fear of rejection, fear of judgment, fear of continual pursuit.  Pursuit is accurate, but what it is I pursue is the point…this marriage is one of attempting to communicate with the world, and the world understanding what it is I am attempting to share.  The world will likely not provide immediate feedback, if it does, it will likely be critical and passive – not very useful on its initial pass.  This same world will eventually shape me into what it is I pursue – an excited, adventurous, forever-seeking, compassionate, caring, giving, informed, wise, influential figure by which others seek companionship and guidance.  I believe that in order to achieve that status a painful process of opening myself up to be completely vulnerable…vulnerable transparency…is necessary.  Vulnerable to the masses – vulnerable by way of marrying the world – by working together to forever seek a more efficient, concise, and concrete manner of interacting, minimizing ambiguity, eradicating confusion, and ensuring understanding.  My goal is to establish as many positive relationships as possible – miscommunication and dyscommunication is the primary means by which those never flourish in the first place, or turn to ruins over time.  I no longer want to be a part of this.  I want to strive towards greater understanding.  This marriage is my way of achieving just that.